28 July 2008

Classic quotes, Vol. 6

For some simpler fare to ease us into the week, here are more of the melodious sounds of our household, as represented by some cherry-picked quotes:

J-: M-, that is NOT pants!*

Me: Keep the crayon away from your eye, please.

J- (to me): Do I need to skip all the hassle and just spray you with Febreze??

D- (to a silent J-, while laying on the couch seconds after running all over the room): Um, Mom? This is like a library now, because I'm sleeping... so please be quiet.

J- (disgusted): D-, get your face --and mouth!-- away from Daddy's feet!

Me (to D-, a different day**): Keep your feet out of your mouth!!

J- (ticking off on her fingers): I didn't like 3, I'm not likin' 4 at the moment, so I'm pretty much guessin' I don't like... ages 3-8.

* If anyone has an idea to keep the kid from stealing any shirt she can find and trying to "dress herself" with it, for the love of God let me know.
** I'm just noticing the trend. Strange.


Brittany said...

Those were hilarious, I almost peed at the Febreeze comment!

And in my opinion, for what it's worth, as long as a shirt is long enough, it counts as pants, too!

Anonymous said...

I think your wife just gave me a brilliant idea. I may have to try that Febreeze thing...maybe it will work on man-feet...

Unknown said...

Your wife is too funny. I especially like the quote about not liking ages 3-8.

And I am wondering if my child is a clone of yours regarding feet -my son loves to play with everyone's feet. I personally find it disgusting!

unmitigated me said...

Am afraid your daughter may be the clone of 18-year-old-Girl who, from ages 2-7, dressed in what we referred to as Bag Lady Chic.

Ali said...

My 6 yr old loves feet and bellies! I'm a little worried about(and for) the kind of girls he'll be bringing home in 10 years.

Natalie said...

see now i am the opposite. or i used to be. i am a birth to age 8 kind of girl. early-childhood major in college. although now that my kids are out of those ages (except ag who turns 9 on aug.16) i am glad to be done with them. i am terrified of the teenage years however!

kel said...

Long shirts ARE the new pants. And, just be grateful that your daughter (I think it's your daughter) is only putting feet in her mouth. Trust me. You'll remember this day when she's older.

Keys to the Magic Travel said...

I think that Frued would have a field day with my kids. Who can't keep anything out of their mouths. And they are 7 and 10. Stylus from the DS - in the mouth. Map at six Flags - in the mouth. Biting toenails...where will it end?!

Live.Love.Eat said...

Hey there. Thanks for the blogby and checking out the spaghetti sauce. There was definitely A LOT of leftovers.

Cassey said...

Working for money, Congrats.

Weith Kick said...

So that is how foot amd mouth disease is spread!

Seriously Brenda said...

When my son was born our pediatrician said "love him now and wait until he is three." On his second birthday, she said "love him now and wait until he is three." On the day of his three year check up she said "hee hee hee..." Yep, 'nuff said,

TerriRainer said...

The clothes thing? Gets worse as they get older, and the clothes get way more expensive with "special laundry needs".

My 8 year old daughter chews her nails...ALL OF THEM. Amazing how flexible they are at that age!

:) Terri

Judy Schwartz Haley | CoffeeJitters.Net said...

I love it. These are great.

LiteralDan said...

Brittany: Well, if you had peed, you know just how to freshen up your chair.

Long shirts as pants are fine (for sleeping, or if you're not my daughter), but she tends to cram her body through the neck hole. You should see the state of D-'s jammie shirts by this point. She grabs them from wherever he forgets them, hides while pulling the shirt on, and then struggles to walk out to show me her handiwork, always with a grand announcement.

MamaNeena: I doubt it. You must find the deodorizer forged in the cracks of Mount Doom.

Mekhismom: She's refreshingly honest much of the time, and I aim to document it.

The feet thing reminds me of our old dog, who would lick my dad's feet and gross my mom out. My dad would just point out that the dog didn't care and neither did he.

Middle Aged woman: Bag Lady Chic has never really come back, but it is fundamentally similar to Hobo Casual, which is SO hot right now.

Ali: Well, with any luck, he'll change enough between now and then to make it a non-issue. But then, when I think about how similar I still am to a 6-year-old boy, I'm not so sure he will.

Natalie: Yeah I like little kids, and unlike a lot of people, I greatly prefer toddlers over babies.

I think we're all wise to be terrified of the teenage years.

Kel: All shirts are long on her, but the problem is she puts them on via the neckhole. And nope, it's my son with the apparent foot obsession, but I think that might be a little more unnerving,, somehow. At least it seems so at the moment/

Kat: At least the toenail biting keeps them limber. You know, for more toenail biting.

Stephanie: Now you're just taunting me. I don't recall receiving a delicious-smelling but oddly-damp envelope of spaghetti, by the way, madame.

Cassey: Thanks! It's a nice change, though exhausting in a different way. Thank goodness it's temporary-- I'd need to transition slowly or I might hurt myself.

WeithKick: That's just one of the many ways. The key is to keep sheep feet out of your mouth whenever possible.

Seriously Mama: My son was an easy 3, in my opinion, but he's making up for it now with increased hijinks and dastardly scheming.

TerriRainer: You should start demanding that she trim her toenails by biting them while doing the splits. Enough of that kind of training and she'll be cured for good.

Judy Haley (coffeejitters): The quotes, or the crazy family members?

Birdie said...

"This is like a library now, because I'm sleeping... so please be quiet."

I say that all day long. Zzzz...

LiteralDan said...

Children should be seen and not heard, ay? Are you striking up the Laziest Parent Competition again, or something? I thought I settled that once and for all long ago.