05 July 2008

A rhetorical what??

CAUTION: If "Kids Say the Darndest Things" stories make you nauseous, I don't necessarily blame you, but you definitely need to go read some old posts instead, or just come back tomorrow.

For any of you who may think I'm the most literal person in the word, it does get worse.

We were having dinner at my parents' house on my sister's birthday last night, and when I was slicing myself another piece of bread, I of course made sure to ask if anyone else wanted some. Each person answered that they did not.

All of two minutes later, my dad asked my mom if she could slice him a piece of bread, so naturally she turned to him and asked, though only slightly incredulously, "where were you when he was slicing the bread??!"

D- looked at both of them for a second, confused, and then declared, as the only sane person in the room, "right there, where he is sitting..."

I think you can imagine the look he was giving everyone as he said this, before he forgot all about it and focused instead on the much more important fact that he had somehow made everyone laugh a lot.


Jennifer said...

LOL! I love "kids say the darndest things" stories--and that was a good one!!

TentCamper said...

Gotta love it. I like itwhen the kids unintentionally make adults look like asses. Cracks me up.

Anonymous said...

When 18-year-old-Girl was a little kid, I asked her to behave. She replied, rather indignantly, "I AM being hayve!"

TerriRainer said...

Leave it to small children to state the obvious!

Gotta love it!

:) Terri

Natalie said...

we left our kids with my parents and took a weekend trip when my 12 year old was 3. the day we got home my dad told my son that he was going to the airport to pick me up. my son thought for a minute and said, "no, you can't pick her up she's too heavy." my dad laughed about that for a long time.

Anonymous said...

Ya can't escape those genetics no matter how hard you try!

Nice to meet you, Literal Jr.

Trooper Thorn said...

Kids don't learn how to be passive-aggressive until they hit 12. Until then, other's p-a remarks just don't make any sense.

LiteralDan said...

Jennifer: Well, thank you-- I should produce some kind of series of TV specials about these kinds of things. They'll make me a millionaire!!

What's that you say? ... Damn.

TentCamper: Unintentionally? I highly doubt it's unintentional most of the time. I can't tell you how many times D- has told me I was wrong about something, with a smug look you wouldn't think a 3/4-year-old could muster, and I also can't tell you how frustrating it was the few times he was right.

Middle-Aged woman: Oh man, I hate when kids do stuff like that. Sometimes, it just makes you wanna act like twice the child to throw it back in their faces.

I hope I mature fast enough to not be a worse teenager than my kids when they're teenagers.

TerriRainer: Small children, and a few slow-witted adults I've met. Gotta love those folks.

Natalie: If I were him, I'd still be laughing about it, though never out loud whenever you were pregnant, feeling bloated, or basically any time you were female.

MamaNeena: We're a family that wears our genetics on our sleeves, so to speak. When we have tiny Dan and tiny J- in tow, you'd think we were fabulously wealthy scamps who had ourselves cloned so we could harvest them for organs whenever necessary.

But you'd be odd to think that, because if we were so wealthy, why would we bother taking clones of such unpleasant people around with us anywhere?

Trooper Thorn: It's an important time in every child's life. I think D- may get there a bit before 12, though. He's always been advanced with things like that. (single proud tear)