29 June 2008

For every life, into a little manure we must fall

Apparently the Tannen curse applies to the female half of the family as well. And the family has spread as far as Germany:

Manure thief falls into dung, flees naked

What better punishment could the authorities devise? I think they should call it a draw. As an aside, am I the only one who hears the poetry in "slipped into a slurry tank"?

If these women were real entrepreneurs, they would come forward and declare that they were merely gathering supplies for their highly exclusive, incredibly effective new skin treatment. Pretty soon they'd have all the respectable ladies of the world soaking in tanks of filth in a desperate attempt to not look like some ridiculous "old lady". It really isn't that far-fetched, sadly.

It could become a new parable-- when life dumps you into a vat of animal waste, trick everyone else into jumping in, too.


Anonymous said...

If your ploy works, I could make a fortune selling the cow poo out in my pasture. Do you think I could call it "gold nuggets"?

LiteralDan said...

If I knew what the magic formula was, I'd be off printing money, not crafting mediocre blog posts, my friend.

But if it's any help to you at all, I would like to know more about these "gold nuggets" you speak of. Can I have some? I'll pay!

Swirl Girl said...

it's all so very e.e. cummings isn't it?

LiteralDan said...

Maybe he faked his death and he's been living a quiet life all this time as a Reuters Odd News beat reporter.