16 April 2008

And so, as foretold in the prophecy, it begins

I'm familiar with women and their stereotypical quirks, as well as their less-recognized ones, such as a seemingly essential aversion to reporting potential car problems in an accurate and timely manner (no, J-, I'm not only talking about you, and I know you are getting way better... phew!). I've often wondered how many of these are legitimate and how many have just been willed into existence. I think as with most things, some basic tendencies may always be present inborn in a person, through genetics as well as sex, but one's environment steps in to help manifest some traits while suppressing others.

I've been waiting patiently to put this idea to the test with M-, but even before I thought we were getting started, some spontaneous early results have come my way in one important arena. Even with M- just a few months past a year old, it seems fate may have already doomed us to a lifetime of shoe shopping.

Who knew shoes could hold so much joy in their soles?
After she got bored with her perfect little white and pink sneakers (pictured on the left) last month, she decided to walk off with the left shoe at my parents' house, and it is absolutely nowhere to be found (even after we bought her new shoes, which means it must really be lost for good). The most plausible explanation we've come up with is that she snuck it into one of the bags of garbage during the cleaning for my brother's fiancee's wedding shower a month ago.

Anyway, she went through a couple weeks of wearing nothing but her hilariously cute knee-high fashion boots (see picture above), which were a gift from J-'s parents when we visited Maine, no matter what the outfit. Of course, I had to call upon my very meager fashion sense each day to try to keep her from being too oddly mismatched. However, it soon became clear that this situation was not sustainable, so I went hunting for the box with D-'s old shoes, and I had some success in finding a pair of size 5 navy blue and white sneakers.

Unfortunately, when combined with a few other hand-me-downs M- sometimes wears (jeans, khakis, her warmer spring jacket, etc.), these shoes often left her looking just like a boy, and while there's nothing inherently wrong with this, it annoyed J- enough that we knew something had to give. I don't blame her for this, because it does create some awkward situations, and I know how it would bother me the other way around. I know this specifically because D- has always been a very pretty boy, and even when we dressed him as boyishly as possible, some people would still refer to him as a girl, and give us a look that said, "Why would you dress a girl that way?!?"

So, after holding out a little longer in our vain attempt to locate her missing shoe, we gave up and headed to the store last week. At least it was close to time for her to move up a size, so it wasn't a total loss.

She was like a pet goldfish set loose in a lake, running down the aisles calling out, "Shoe! Shoe!", then grabbing some off the shelf and walking them over to us while saying, "On. On," before standing in front of one of us and expectantly sticking out her foot. Through this arduous but amusing process, we found a nice pair (pictured above on the right) that are easy to put on and should go with most things. Now she's even taken to crying whenever we are mean enough to take off her shoes.

To further her nose-thumbing at the progress made by the great feminists before her, M- has also recently taken to calling out "mo-nee! mo-neee!!" at seemingly random intervals while walking around the house. Whether this money is being requested for shoe purchases or chocolate, no one can yet be certain.


Mama Dawg said...

Oh you poor man. Just so you know, it gets worse. Mine feels it's her lot in life to have every color flip flop Old Navy makes as well as every slightly raised backless flip floppy heel that Payless makes. Sigh.........how I'm raising such a girly girl, I'll never knkow.


LiteralDan said...

Man, that's gonna kill me... I mean, we all only have two feet!

SherE1 said...

My daughter has the same pair of brown shoes (on the right) and she loves them so much that she still wears them even though they are a size too small. =)

I don't have very many pairs of shoes, myself. My kids easily have me beat in the number of shoes they own. (Note that I have three GIRLS.) Thank goodness for Payless, is all I can say.

KatBouska said...

Hi, I just wandered into your blog via Dooce...I am SO not looking forward to my kids developing their own sense of style. I'm poor enough as it is, all I need is a couple teenage girls emptying my wallet to fill their closets. ;)

LiteralDan said...

Oh I hear you guys on the expense-- shoes, especially women's shoes (and clothes, really) are way overpriced in most cases. It'd be different if they were high-quality, but most of the time they're made from the cheapest material possible, and meant to fall apart as soon as you feel like you probably got your money's worth. It's a vicious calculus!

It's also the sharpest of the three prongs with which this likely fetish will attack us-- cost, wastefulness, and space-taking.

Let me tell you something else-- as soon as we get some real money in the bank, I fear that my older daughter (aka my wife... just kidding honey!) may serve as ringleader in the Shoe Carnival.

Anonymous said...

yes, i second your suggestion of a support group. i need an outlet to cope with this.

LiteralDan said...

For symbolism, we should attend the meetings shoeless.