03 April 2008

Aww, you're no fun anymore

One of the problems with being a dad trying to teach children not to lie is that you can't pull any fun pranks on April Fools' Day. D- had tremendous moral conflicts with the mere concept of "tricks" on Halloween, so I knew April Fools' pranks were just Right Out.

Quoth he, quite righteously, on that Hallowed eve, "It's not nice to trick people!" And this was just when I was trying to vaguely explain the concept of the alternative to treating, not after he was the victim of some cruel hoax. The ultimate hoax, of course, would have been to tell him that we had all made up the concept of Halloween, and who was he to think he could just walk up to strangers' houses and get free candy? I can't help but wonder what kind of face that brand of betrayal would create.

He must have gotten over his misgivings by now, however, because he pulled a belated April Fools' trick on me this morning: as M- was trying to stand up on the tiny cardboard box from our cordless phone (she seems to be obsessed with climbing on things for a better view, possibly due to a shortness complex), he of course warned her that she shouldn't do this, because she could get hurt. When the box inevitably tumbled sideways from her fidgeting, she fell to the floor (still on her feet), and he said as sternly as it sounds, "See, that's what happens!"

I almost choked on the irony of her receiving such a message from this particular messenger.


Anonymous said...

Your boychild is reminding me of the niece now. When she was 2 I had the bright idea of suggesting my sister and dad bring her to come visit me in my two bedroom apartment in the middle of Iowa. My sister brought toys for her to play with but they were nothing compared to what little of my stuff was left in my apartment (I was crazy enough to have an exceptionally destructive 2-year-old unleashed in my apartment, not crazy enough to not move most of my belongings into the locked basement).

The best "toys" ever, why that would be the dish towels and the kitchen garbage can, the can being a very small can with a foot pedal and so "Kayla-sized" and therefore highly awesome. I saw her play with the towels, this did not disturb me until she came to me and informed me she wanted to "hoe ooo umping" (aka "show you something" a phrase that still gives me chills two years later), and she showed me how my garbage can made a great place for all my kitchen towels and most of a roll of toilet paper. Thankfully I had emptied the garbage and cleaned the can before they arrived so there was nothing nasty on my towels. I then cleaned the top of the microwave off and placed the can on top of it, well out of her reach. She saw what I had done and in her most stern lecturing voice informed me, "That does not go there, that goes THERE!" I got that lecture several times over the week, for some reason I didn't follow her instructions... Auntie Kee must be a bad student!

LiteralDan said...

Oh, I know that lecture well... there's nothing quite like it! When D- was that age he was much more cautious than M- and not likely to get into non-toy stuff too much, but M- does what she wants, when she wants. If you try to stop her, you'll hear about it immediately and for several minutes. Nothing in our house is safe.

Try as she might, we love her anyway! Haven't we all got that side in us, after all?

Momo Fali said...

I have to give him credit where credit is due. You can't very well boss people around if you're not going to be right...and he was right!

LiteralDan said...

Yeah, that's what's so frustrating... I only wish it meant that our lessons were sinking in, but he just likes lecturing people. Oh, and glaring hypocrisy, he also likes that.