23 April 2008

Developments at our house, Vol. 5

Here are some more developments at our house in the past few days:

1. I took it as a sign that my poor wife is so overwhelmed by parenting and her work as a special-ed teacher at a school an hour away (which starts at 7am) that when she received a "standby juror" notice, after some initial, natural reluctance, she ended up praying for jury duty as an escape from it all.

I helped her realize that she was looking at: paid time off work (finding out this perk helped brighten her spirits considerably) in addition to her pittance for serving; time away from me and the kids (I can be a bit much to handle, which probably doesn't surprise you); and, during the selection process, hours to chill out listening to music and reading a book.

But because she wanted it, as you might imagine, it turned out they didn't need her. Let's all type a big frowny face for J-, shall we? :-(

2. I discovered I may in fact be one of those elusive spammers we all hate so much. Rather than save myself a note as a draft e-mail the other night, I just sent it to myself so I'd see it in my inbox. The next day, this message did not appear in my inbox, but I did notice a message in my spam folder (I'm lucky enough that this is not a regular event), and sure enough, it was my note to myself.

To clarify, when I say it was a note to myself, I mean I sent it from one e-mail account right back into that same account. Is this some kind of spammers' secret? "No one will suspect ME if I get the same spam messages as everyone else! Moohoohahahaaaaa!!!"

3. M- may be the next Mia Hamm, if it's reliable to project her current rate of progress as a soccer player through every day into the future. Nothing would make J- happier, including M-'s election as the first female President of the United States.

4. Speaking of soccer, yesterday J- discovered the joys of refereeing when she was called in as an emergency replacement ref for her school's girls soccer team. She felt a profound sense of satisfaction at being repeatedly told she was "f*cking blind" for an hour's work (while deathly ill and voiceless) doing a favor for the kids and their parents.

5. I've learned the next thing they need to ban after waterboarding is the poor playing of a Cars videogame (featuring a bad Owen Wilson impersonator) at full volume, resulting in the same tinny music, sound effects, and voiceovers looping every minute and a half. I think it's D-'s way of saying he is bored and wants me to be done on the computer for the day...

And on that note, I bid you and the rest of The Internets adieu.


Mama Dawg said...

Well, you and me both (horrible grammar, I know, but I really don't care as it's a beautiful day outside and once again, I'm stuck indoors) on the spamming thing. Recently, I've e-mailed myself twice with the same results as you. Weird.


Julie H said...

I have NEVER said that to an umpire. At least loud enough for them to hear I hope... lol

LiteralDan said...

mama dawg: Maybe we should start a Reluctant Spammers support group, or something?

julie: Well, as long as they couldn't hear you, the world can forgive you :-)

Momo Fali said...

We have some CARS books like that...and they have mysteriously lost their batteries.

LiteralDan said...

Oh my friend, I think we could fill a warehouse with our "lost batteries". Toys have to have some fun purpose beyond making battery-powered noise, or they just end up at the bottom of the toy box

Mountainwave said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Thanks for the inaugural comments on my blog. I have had the same feelings when summoned to jury duty last year. A chance to get away, etc. but found after about 4 hours and 3 days to go I was bored to tears (even with the free interenet).

LiteralDan said...

Sounds like maybe she dodged a bullet then! Hopefully it'll be awhile before it happens again

Anonymous said...

Hey, I just found your blog from a comment you posted on Laid Off Dad, and I'm glad I did! I love your writing--totally funny! I'll be back!

LiteralDan said...

Cool, and thanks! So we're both LOD fans-- he published last night just before I was turning off the computer to go to bed, so it was a nice end to the day.

Glad you like my stuff-- I just checked your blog and I like what I see so far! I'll go back later to read more when I have more time.

Welcome aboard!