Innovations from the laundry room

Recently I developed a technique that you'll find especially valuable if you have occasion to wash your own clothes. All others should share it with whoever does their laundry, and then store it away as an intriguing bit of trivia to make themselves seem smarter at cocktail parties. Either way, I'm willing to share it with you as long as you promise to vocally credit me whenever you pass it on, and silently credit me whenever you use it yourself.*

Ready?

Either before or after you throw your clothes in the washing machine, (please excuse my dramatic, conspiratorial whisper) make sure to pour some detergent in there with the clothes, being sure to use an amount appropriate to the size of your load.

Skipping this extra step, as you no doubt have been doing up until now, results in mere wetting and drying of the clothes, which I assure you from firsthand experience smells much different than when clothes are washed with detergent. After trying my method, the difference will no doubt be as startling to you as it was to me.

In closing, I'll just say that you're right to feel so grateful, and if you're like me, you'll never do laundry the same old way again.

* Please make sure to swear anyone you tell to the same oath.