14 May 2008

Developments at our house, Vol. 7

Here are yet more developments at our house in recent days:

1. M- discovered that sweaty little baby feet can do double-duty as handy tools for recovering food dropped on the floor. As a bonus, you save time and money by never having to refill your salt shaker!

2. I'm thinking I'll have to update my (joking, of course) lists of reasons why D- may or may not be homosexual, given how consistently he has been picking either Princess Peach or Baby Princess Peach the handful of times I've let him play MarioKart Wii.

3. M- tried to inspire a new Conversation with M- by, once every day for a week, climbing up on my lap and then shouting "Ear!" before trying to stick something in my ear, such as a car, a toy phone antenna, and (on several occasions) the aglet from a bear's shoelace. At least she gave me some warning so I could dodge them, which is a lesson she apparently learned from when she ambushed me and my eye later on.

4. J- and I have decided what to spend our stimulus payment on-- gas for the car and food for our children! I can't wait till the installation guys deliver that stuff and plug it in! Woo!!

5. M- found that rather than silence the cries for breakfast (which take the place of greetings) that threaten to wake D- early every morning, Daddy sticking a goldfish cracker in her mouth before quickly carrying her out of the room merely allows her to reach a new tonal range on "hunnnnnngreeeeeeee!"

6. Continuing #5, I've learned that I need to stuff at least three Goldfish crackers in M-'s mouth when I get her in the morning, to make her believe she will be fed right away just like she is every single day. Even if she doesn't believe it, I suppose, she may at least find it more difficult to speak in this state.

That, or I may just end up with a couple of damp Goldfish stuck to my face.

7. I have decided that the world can ignore its meteorologists when trying to decide what the weather will be like on a given day, and instead rely solely on whether I am wearing pants vs. shorts and/or have a jacket or umbrella with me to tell them what the weather will not be like. It's been a logic-defying couple of weeks for this effect.

8. D- spelled the word "Bee" all by himself, which brings his total spelling count to about 10-- I told him how proud I am of him, but I kept to myself that the logical next step for the near future is for him to become Professor of English Language History at Oxford. He'll discover that by himself When He's Five (the glorified time in which almost all things will happen).

9. I've been absolutely overwhelmed by your response to my nomination for Best Daddy Blog-- you guys are awesome! I owe you all big time. Just let me know when you want to collect. One caveat: I don't do windows.

10. I'm exceedingly proud of myself for defying my OCD demons and leaving this list at 9 items instead of rounding it out to ten... dammit!


Bilary said...

I just voted for you! YAY! You are kicking some major butt in that contest! I hope you win! Keep us posted! You are awesome!

Mama Dawg said...

Nothing to say except I snickered out loud at #10. For real. Out Loud! At Work. People Stared. Of course, after what happened this morning, that's to be expected.

Sigh.....it's almost Friday.


TerriRainer said...

Funny as always, One-Eyed Dan (hmmm, One-Eyed Dan sounds like the nick-name a guy would give to a certain body part...).

I miss the days when my kids were so dependant on me one minute, and then thank God the next that they aren't!

:) Terri

Cassey said...

My girl use to say "I hit" or "I bit", we were always grateful for the warning.

That's what we are spending our tax stimulus on too! How weird is that?

SherE1 said...

Speaking of #2 - we were at the park for a bday party on Saturday and someone had brought a red and blue tricycle for their son and a Barbie bike for their daughter. Guess which one Jacob decided to crawl towards?

Drat! That's what I forgot to do! I still owe you another 98 votes. =)

DeeDee said...

Way to go on the Best Daddy Blogger nomination! I love finding daddy bloggers. They are rare gems. I actually saw your link posted somewhere else and made a mental note to find you but luckily I've posted a complete list of everyone who left their blog link on his Big Big Stars post a while back in a post of my own in April called Blog Rolling With My Homies over on my blog and you were on it!! So if you want to see the list come on over and sit a spell. I don't bite..…that hard anyway!

If you did know just overlook this and pretend I said something funny since my brain feels like mush from trying to comment on all 217 on the list because somebody had the bright idea to challenge me to it!!

Anonymous said...

Well I for one DEFINITELY want the tote bag...I'll need it for all the crap I just carted back from vacation. Congrats on the nomination! Very exciting!

LiteralDan said...

Bilary:I wish I could keep everyone posted, other than to say thanks for all the votes and support (other than saying thanks, I'm as near speechless as I ever get), but I don't have any additional information. I've only kept tabs through people saying what my percentage is when they vote (thanks for that, btw).

I can't vote, myself, because neither Firefox nor IE will show the poll box properly, for different reasons. I suppose I could download a third browser, unless anyone has a better idea.

Mama Dawg: Glad to provide you with a fun and awkward moment. That item was my real time thought process-- after having it, I knew it had to be the 10th item.

For those wondering what happened this morning, see her funny (sorry) post-- http://twodogsrunningsouth.blogspot.com/2008/05/ha-ha-very-funnyya-bastards.html

TerriRainer: I've been called a That-Boy-Part-head before, so I guess it's just six of one, half a dozen of the other.

I won't miss the days when my kids were/are extremely dependent on me-- I like a nice balance of cuteness/innocence and self-sufficiency.

Cassey: That is nice of her, calling her shots. You should call her The Babe.

SherE1: But the pink bike is so pretty!

If only everyone was as compulsive as me, the poll server might explode! Take it easy... lol

DeeDee: I'm glad you stopped by! I have seen and heard of your list-- as long as it must have taken to compile, reading them all and commenting must be exhausting. I'm impressed with your rising to the challenge-- I had to quit after not getting very far, because otherwise I might not have much time left for the kids, and therefore would have nothing new to post about (also they might starve, etc.). I bow to you!

Christy: I'll put you on the list for a tote bag, and write your name down as a member of my unholy army. And thanks-- it's exciting indeed!

family affairs said...

OK, you're desperate...I'll vote for you if you vote for me - I'm on the "Mommy" list! Good luck and you've given me an idea - I need to encourage votes by offering free items....maybe a suitcase rather than a totebag or perhaps several of my children. Lx

LiteralDan said...

Oh, of course I'm always desperate, but not for votes, just for legions of faithful foot soldiers. The magical bottomless tote bags that are all the rage these days are reserved only for those readers willing to swear a blood oath of allegiance to my unholy army (see notice above).

As for your suggestion of offering children as prizes, that will only work for those naive ladies and gents not yet Blessed With Children of their own. We who already have some would see right through your clever ruse!

And I voted for your site anyway-- what I read was interesting and well written.