09 May 2008

Women: Can't live with 'em, can't eat your own string cheese

The world didn't seem all that funny to me this morning... among other things, I hate banks.

So this is the kind of thing I watch on days like this:

Just click play, and enjoy the random sampling of the wonders YouTube has to offer our troubled civilization.

Something else to remind me that the world is funny: thinking of that time M- cornered a younger boy at library storytime "trying to get him to understand" that she wanted to eat his string cheese. She only knows people who share their food with her, so she quickly became desperate as she ran through her whole repertoire hoping something would register with him-- "mah, peez", "biiiiite, bite"... even signing for more.

And when I say signing for more, I mean she was standing over him, repeatedly signing right in his face. Not aggressively, mind you, but more like, "Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth??" (funnier if you enjoyed the movie Rush Hour). I'm positive he knew exactly what she wanted, but he of course just wanted to squat in the corner and eat his string cheese in peace.

Even if M- had learned already how to instead use subtle hints and suggestions to get the boy to give her his string cheese and make him think it was his idea, he was nowhere near old enough to be blinded by any accursed motivation to allow this to happen. So she was destined for failure, short of using brute force, and he gained a valuable preview for the long life ahead of him.

And, for the record, this all happened very quickly, across the room, and by the time she was signing in his face I picked her up and explained that it was his string cheese and she had her own food to eat if she was hungry. Still, the bewildered and overwhelmed look on the boy's face was just priceless. If I'd had a stick of string cheese on me, I would have tossed it to him and just said, "Women, huh?"

And he would have stuck to his original plan of running back to his mommy.


Valarie Lea said...

Thanks for stopping by over at my place. That video was the funniest thing. I am going to have to show it to my kids.

SherE1 said...

Hilarious (both video and story)! I love a woman (or a toddler) who knows what she wants and ain't afraid to go after it! That (poor)little boy just has to learn his place in life early on, is all.

Natalie said...

funny! we women know how to get what we want...most of the time. i want to watch your funny video but am going to have to wait for a time when youtube isn't banned in turkey. it comes and goes...currently off for 3 days now. who knows why.

LiteralDan said...

Valarie: Thanks for returning the favor-- if your kids are human, which one can only assume they are, they should find it very funny, too lol

SherE1: Yeah, sadly, that time comes for all of us. I wanna go buy that little guy a (root) beer.

Natalie: That's too bad-- I bet someone somewhere on YouTube said something bad about either turkey or Turkey. Let's hope it was the former, for your sake. To summarize, in case you never get to see the video-- there's lots of people being tripped, falling, or otherwise being stupid and paying for it. Plus, an old lady almost gets hit by three separate cars when crossing the street. That part is pretty incredible.

Ann(ie) said...

HA!!! That string cheese story is hysterical. I can totally see it going down. I have a boy and he was be like deer in the headlights holding on to that cheese for dear life with a furrowed brow. heeheeeeeeeee....men and from Mars, women are from venus toddler version. I love it!!

LiteralDan said...

Yeah, this kid was clinging to that cheese pretty firmly-- he had no idea how hard he would have had to hang on if I hadn't gotten there when I did. M- reverts to The Original Form of Communication pretty easily, and effectively. I was actually impressed with her restraint that day.